Cat person or dog person?

half dog, half cat, half person.

cats are cleaner. dogs are more fun. it all depends on what i'm hungry for.

Ask me anything

Is This Illegal? This Is Probably Illegal. It Probably Should Be Illegal.

Which is to say the recording myself while driving thing, not the chocolate milk thing.  Oh, you'll see.

All's my car stereo's got is a tape deck and a radio, so I'm fairly limited in my entertainment for extensive driving. 

So this happens.

Are you Crushin' on any girlies?

such a saucy question to someone like myself, who just yesterday married a mega rich super sexy corporate executive government dancer yoga librarian and moved to an isolated tropical island with delicious food that is served out of extravagant headwear, which is, of course, insulated so as to prohibit the passage of any extreme temperatures to the noggin. Unless, of course, you desire the effects of the aforementioned extreme temperatures.

but that didn't really happen.

Being that I am a firm believer in many tenets of socialism, I will not argue over such issues as the rightful ownership and possession of beeswax, and which beeswax belongs (or, more precisely, does not belong) to whom. I will suffice to say that, yes - much to my dismay, my often (and otherwise seemingly) unrequited infatuations persist.

Are you happy now?!

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/JTboom

Now awesome is just ironic.

I have been accidentally devaluing the word "awesome" through linguistic inflation, in that I have been applying the word to situations wherein the word is not necessarily applicable; when I am not, in actuality, anywhere near struck with anything near awe. The word has consequently lost the splendor of yesteryear (1).

So...sorry. (2)

sometimes when i'm in need of a giggle, i read the example sentences for the word "cunt" in the oxford english dictionary.

because i am an immature person with academic resources in the digital age.

Which is to say I have access to and utilize the OED website.

I pray that you have come to realize that using what is recognized as the most vulgar of curse words by most english-speaking, land-borne mammals along with 4 out of 5 dentists of mixed ethnicity whose sample groups were controlled for age, weight, social acuity, and catholicity, can often incur offense from third parties. Well, all three really. Just don't say it at parties. Or say it only at parties. Loud parties.

In using the aforementioned cuss, I have made it slightly more common, and therefore slightly less profane.

So...you're welcome.


(1) = because no one uses the word "yesteryear," which is why I am really glad I invested in it forty years ago. And yet, it can only become more common, so I'm thinking about selling off and cashing out. But don't tell anyone, I could get in trouble.

(2) = not really.

wear your big boy pants

and the panda said "i've never been one for catalogs"

by which he means to say that he does not approve of the aggression of the bears, nor the laziness of marsupials. So he just doesn't feel like taking sides.

Honestly, I don't think he knows what a catalog is. I cannot imagine that he would have a mailing address to receive one, nor do I believe that Chinese culture is particularly catalog-heavy.

He also refuses to eat anything apart from the nutrient-deficient bamboo that is actually fairly rare in the areas of China from which he refuses to remove himself.

Furthermore, it seems he is not a big enthusiast of procreation.

Is it black with white spots, or white with black spots? or are you just gonna stick with gray?


a ridiculous creature, to be certain.
put a stop to the feature and lower the curtain.

general surgeon warning - this is gonna hurt

Depression is about learning lessons, right? Whatever, the point is there's something profound here, like right here, right where these words are, but these words lack significance. So that sucks. But I'll spend the next few years or so reading between the letters anyway. 

I'm just thinking a little too far ahead. Living in the moment doesn't pay off, so they say. But taken altogether, I still come out economically disadvantaged, to be euphemetaphorically-correct. 

Staring into the sky can hurt the eyes (the fine print indicates that the real danger is directional in nature, but my eyes hurt too bad to squint that hard)

call your doctor if you have any questions. and I mean ANY questions, or just to see what's up, what's new. you never really ask for a status update in response, do you?

i spend some of my time staring at the blemishes on my wall. whistling whilst I salute the ability to be noticed. though i don't know how deserving of salutation is noticeability is not a word according to my dictionary widget. but perception brings response does it not? acknowledgment? salutation? you tell me, eye in the sky; you tell me, feet on the seat.

when you end up awake with your face in a puddle, on a street named after a man you once dreamed you were in a past life, in a city that is trying to convince you is a long-lost friend...think it over? I guess? I don't know, that sounds fucked up good luck with that. 

I've kinda got my own real life, literal problems going on over here buddy. So I won't spare no prisoners or no change from or to a life in a boxcar staring out the side and not the front, only aware of where i am without the going.