(an elderly, old-timey, powdered-wigged, blustery fellow by the name of Horace Norberg, appears, with a sort of 17th century flair, behind a microphone, which is standing somewhere around the center of an elementary school gymneterium? Audasiteria? Cafditasium? Anyway, some sort of combination of an auditorium, gymnasium, and cafeteria - with the occasional hosting of exciting events like the book fair, and boy scout meetings! - ...um...stage. The stage of that place. Anyhoo, without further adieu, here's the introduction...)
Horace. Hear Ye! Hear Ye! This blog shall come to session. All rise and get ready to get up and get funky with...Jonny T!
(and then I come on in similar garb, why not? It's just an ol' hodgepodge of anachronisms and tangents I guess is the environment I'm setting up here.)
Jonny. A good day to you all! This is Jonny T broadcasting to you live via text, comin' at all you surfers out there on that totally tubular wave machine we call the web! And just to clarify to all of our listeners, I am not the author of the blog. He's asked me to inform all of our viewers that I am merely a representation of the author-
(oh shit...what?! Why'd he stop? Ah! it says here "another character bursts onto the stage from behind the curtain"...and where's the rest of the script? Jesus, people, okay - no script. Sorry folks, we're still figuring this out. Um...this guy's name is...let's see he looks like your average dirty hippie college jack-off...call him Jack? I'll give it a tentative 'yes'. Jack says...)
Jackie. Hold on, pump the brakes man! I think I'm s'posed to be the voice of the author!
(Just to be clear, this is what happens on the show. The different...I'm required to call them characters...talk about things and often disagree and have squabbles. If you ask me it's a little kooky, but the author and Jonathan - that professional-looking man working the camera over there, our producer - have some sort of arrangement. Let's ask him what the hell's going on: 'Jonathan, what the hell is going on here?')
Jonathan. Don't ask me, I'm learning just like everyone else.
('Well you do it very well, doesn't he folks? Let's give 'im a hand! And what a nice blue tie he's got!' Jonathan laughs and waves to imagined applause as the applause sign lights up. Oh, so apparently Jonathan presses the button for the applause sign? And he does it in this instance just for that, for himself? Wow, remind me to bring that up later, I'm not sure how I feel about that. 'Jonathan, you can hear me, then?')
Jonathan. Yeah that's what it sounds like anyway. I think it's because I've got these headphones on.
('Oh yeah, sure enough. You've got those headphones on.')
Jonny. Hey, Jonathan, are we stopped for somethin'? Can we have a smoke break?
Jonathan. Just one second there, Jonny, we're getting this all figured out.
Okay, let's cut that for now. This is the author speaking. I'm'onna take a break from this temporarily, and I guess rebroadcast from this point at another time, it's late. Anyway, y'all come on back now, it gets even weirder from here I think. 'til next time...
